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Stop Performing, Start Receiving: Why High-Value Women Don’t Chase Love

Apr 30

2 min read

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If you’re exhausted from over-giving, people-pleasing, and bending yourself into a pretzel just to prove you’re worthy of love - this post is for you.

Let’s set the record straight right now: You are not an audition. You are the entire damn show.

As a Dating and Relationship Coach, I work with brilliant, successful women who have been told (directly or indirectly) that they need to be “low-maintenance,” “easygoing,” and “not too much” in order to keep a man. That’s a damn lie.

What’s really happening is this: too many women are caught in the masculine loop of doing rather than being. They’re chasing connection instead of attracting it. Performing instead of receiving. And what they don’t realize is that this energy - this over-functioning - is turning their love life into a full-time job... with no benefits.

Here’s the truth, babe: A high-value woman is not defined by how hard she works to be chosen. She is defined by how high her standards are for what she receives.

Men don’t fall in love with your resume. They fall in love with how they feel around you. And if you’re in your masculine energy all the time - fixing, managing, proving, solving, initiating - they won’t feel needed, inspired, or capable. They’ll feel like employees. Or worse... emasculated spectators in your one-woman show.

Let them lead. Let them give. Let them pursue.

You’re not the reward for good behavior - you are the standard. And that standard is: I will not perform to be loved. I will be loved for exactly who I am.

Journal Prompts for the Week:

  • Where in my dating life am I over-performing or proving?

  • What would it look like for me to fully trust that I am enough, just as I am?

  • How can I lean back and receive without guilt?


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Apr 30

2 min read

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